Being Me :)

I am often confused for a feminist or whatever is the man-hating equivalent of misogyny is. Today I would like to tell you a story about a 26 year old girl Angel, a brilliant girl who eventually ended up living her life on her own terms and who never followed stereotype rules for life.

I grew up watching and admiring Angel, who grew up chasing crows and doing little endurance test such as putting her palm in the jaws of street dog or trying to kick start an Enfield bike by merely stomping at the red hot silencer in her chappals. As a kid she never fared well in class exams but no one could foresee that one day she would teach a never forgetting lesson to us.

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I was always thrilled to see her nonchalant behaviour in midst of excessively etiquetted people with borrowed mannerisms and wondered why is she not bothered about her surrounding or tries to clear the air about her being well for the lack of words "not refined" and why grades were not so important for her. 

Angel had her own way of educating people, one day the naive me went up to her and told her I have a crush on a guy and he drives a car. With a 'oh my dear' look she conveyed an amusing piece of advice which I could never forget till date - "A rich man will never give his jacket when you are cold, he will simply ask you to get inside his Merc because it has the best heater" . It took me years to understand what she really meant. 

One day Angel fell ill and had to go through strenuous cycle of treatment but that did not diminish her determination even by a single bit, she was just a tiny-miny force and some grit short of taking over the world at least that's what she believed in and hoped all girls would think the same.

 Angel passed away in her prime. When I look back.. She lived and how!! Her life unfailingly taught me.. be that adorable, gorgeous, feisty, funny, sweet idiot, be a giver, be that non-judgmental person whom you seek, don't waste your time thinking about that man-shaped hole in your life. It's okay to be irritatingly stubborn, but do not lose your humility which is your biggest virtue and never judge someone by his or hers failures because there is so much to human potential which we fail to recognize.

She shaped my life to a huge extent. In my conversation with Angel.. yes the imaginary ones which I wish I had..  She tells me "You are a brave brave girl!". The little girl in me replies "I know, I got it from you". 

I'm usually the funny girl as opposed to the pretty one and I’m pro-woman out of self-interest. Imperfection is individuality, isn't it.

My Muse :)

‘I am writing a Tribute to Mom in association with Parentous.com'

I was four years old when I wrote a letter to my dad "Mum is strict, do something". Decades after I am writing to my dad again " Mum is good, she is doing fine".

Mum and daughters are eventually meant to be best friends that's how God made us. We daughters don't realize it until we have put some mileage on that our Mum who are our true crony.  Mother-daughter relationship is surely sentimentalized but not honored enough. 

I consider myself as the ancient mariner who has so many tales in his heart and he must unfold to all. I am always accosting people and saying "Someday you should meet my mother". When I was young I always drew my mum as a tall and strong one in my sketches but in real she was petite and snowy. Probably I saw her as strong and courageous woman and I knew there is nothing my mum cannot do except Onko(Maths).

How things have changed, my tall and strong mum has turned in to a small and fragile mum. It's the exterior I am talking, heart being still rock solid.  From being just a mother to a friend, her transition was not easy. Her 'cool'  outlook came after lot of whims she had to put up with from her children.
Secretly as kid I would smear her lipstick all over my face to look as pretty as her and now I would just shout at her "Mom- you are not wearing this".

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Life is bliss when I see child like inquisitiveness in her when I explain her what a 'boyfriend' jacket is. She would keep herself abreast of latest trend, her enthusiasm to dress up her daughters hasn't dimmed a single bit even when her pockets weren't that deep, she would buy cloth piece and stitch dresses for us.


Mother India calls Facebook and Twitter evil. Her idea of staying connected to friends is by making a phone call or by meeting them. She says "If you really feel the urge of writing on someone's wall..call them". Her conjecture comes when she sees me glued to laptop after office. To put it in her words, networking sites eats up the 'Maa-Beti' time. What really amazes her is for hours I can stare at the monitor..I tell her "Maa my innate ability to stare at monitor earns me my bread and butter". Her sigh of impatience after that is priceless. I fear she might disown me the day I tell her I am writing blogs. 

Mom's frankness leaves me with split sides from laughing.Candidly she would ask me in her thick bengali accent, Nobody said Laabh You (Love You) to you, the cheeky answer I could give her is "Na Maa, no one says Laabh or Haani (Love or Honey) to me . Her "Ki bollo??" after each swear word delivered in movies. My pact with her while watching movies is not to ask for a translation for every expletives used. She obediently follows that. 

I can go on and not finish writing about her. I mumble a 'Thanks' to God when I get to see her radiant smile each morning.  When I say  Dad is my North Star - always watching over, Mom is a pathfinder. This one is for the boldest but for the gentlest mother.

If the whole world were put into one scale, and my mother in the other, the whole world would kick the beam ~Henry Bickersteth